Like a few other (million) people across Europe, I woke up last Friday morning and went straight online to find out which way the vote had gone. When I saw the result and the reality kicked in, to my own shock I realised my eyes were welling up a bit. It's not helpful to get emotional and then project it online, is it, so I watched and waited as a spectator to see how things played out over the day, both online and in my own head.
It takes time to process and understand things, but the body is a good indicator and never lies. I now realise that I wasn't angry or disappointed with those who voted to leave, with their feckless sap Union Jack outfits and flag-waving idiotic pomp (ok, slightly angry), just super sad at their reasons for it.
We always do the best we can by the light we have to see by. To wit: just what information were people being fed with on that septic isle, to make such a shocking and atrocious decision?! And what does it matter, when the mass propaganda plastered proudly on the side of buses (EU funding will instead go to the NHS), was immediately backtracked on the morning after, to no surprise whatsoever. Naomi Klein wrote a while back of the shock doctrine, whereby politicians pass controversial laws and make backtracking comments at the precise moment people are in such shock from an (albeit normally) unrelated event (e.g. 9/11, Hurricane Katrina, the Iraq War), so as to almost go unnoticed and, crucially, unreported on. In reneging on these promises so quickly and so openly, Duncan Smith and that smug belligerent fuckwit Farage took things to a new low. Or am I blind in my faux-outrage, and it's utterly systemic?
Apparently plenty of British families have fallen out across the age divide over which way to go. To her credit, my own mother made a genuine and concerted effort to read up on as many neutral texts as she could find, in order to help make what was for her a very difficult decision ("I've never been so undecided in my life"). In this uncertainty it's fair to say she represents a chunk of people over 40 (tho nobody knows how she eventually voted, she won't say), and yet how was it really so tough for people to decide, given the overwhelming academic evidence that forecast serious instability? Kate Hoey, a pro-leave (twat) MP, when asked on The Daily Politics if she could name one reputable study that showed that Britain would be, if not worse off, then at least the same as it is now after leaving, was left looking very foolish as she stumbled around her own mouth, her brain visibly overheating as she floundered and tried to change the topic. As (mostly young) eyes rolled on social media, I was left to think what dark den of iniquity the shoddy arguments to leave were drafted in. (On a side note, Boris Johnson's farm looks ramshackle as fuck…)
But back to the light (we have to see by). Judging by the spike in google searches you've all read about, asking about the possible effects of the ludicrously-termed ‘Brexit’ after voting closed, you could say that the light wasn't even switched on. Apathy? Laziness? The beginning of an argument that the general public shouldn't be allowed to make these decisions? Redundant. Neoliberalism and capitalism-gone-wrong had long since played their part, and how. Hats off. Profit and consumerism as ideals of success and happiness, and a fear-mongering corporate media peddling these ideologies for decades mean we've become so indoctrinated with....hang on! Come back! Ok, ok...let's not go there...
Well, alright then, quickly if you insist. A big hip-hip-hooray for all those abject racists that now finally have the courage to step out of the shadows (and daub abuse at night), as if the vote to leave now somehow justifies their position- well done to you! But then again you're not special, you're everywhere aren't you? A couple of years ago I cocked my ear in defiance at Noam Chomsky's claim that Europe was 'extremely racist and always has been', nowadays I wonder at my own naïveté with yet another public shrug.
But enough of that dreary world-weary stuff. I bore myself as I write sometimes. To today's developments then. Politics is fun, isn't it?! Watching a Tory party split and vie for power is a bit like watching a load of fat pigeons fight to sit on the edge of a rooftop already covered in their own shit, so let's turn our attention instead to how the Labour Party are dealing with things….oh.
Poor Jeremy Corbyn, and his supporters (hey, that’s me). A long-plotted coup and vote of no confidence isn’t quite where I saw this going.
Watching Britain implode from a safe distance is no less comforting, not from a sense of national pride you understand - those who know me as a self-titled European could have worked out I had been supporting Iceland well before last night's hilariously predictable outcome - but what it means for the future as well as the burning question of the week: do I really have to shell out €255 for a German passport?
On the subject, I was recently interviewed for a New York Times article about dual citizenship and changing nationality, and because my name's in such esteemed print, I must know what I'm talking about. You may now also refer to me as Mr Ayling, thank you very much (scratches belly and belches). What I said there I'll paraphrase: I don't care if on paper I'm British, German, Portuguese, Icelandic, Balinese (I could go on), the terms of my national identity must allow me to travel, live and work as I please, and in fact currently do (I pay my taxes where and when appropriate), and any infringement on that makes said passport worth less than toilet paper (the material would be quite tough I imagine), and can any of you really take issue with that? (me being happy, not wiping my bum with my own face). I hope not.
Moving quickly on….the finish line approaches.
No one knows a thing at the moment about how things will turn out, you can safely ignore anyone who says they do. Clearly: since the NYT article was written on Sunday I've received new information about having both British and German passports: I was hoping to keep both but now there is no guarantee that I can have dual citizenship (registering before the vote had absolutely no impact sadly, as it will always depend on the law six months from your registering date...get your melon round that concept if you can) and it could well be that one day I have to choose between being British or German. Hmmm. Tough one.
But what's the rush? Let’s see what the circus has to offer tomorrow, and the day after, before making any silly financial commitments I would then like to go back on. At the very least, it all makes for compelling viewing, doesn’t it, and offers welcome distraction from the other, equally undignified European exit of late.
To borrow from John Oliver, “The United Kingdom, whose very name after this week’s events is beginning to sound a bit sarcastic”.
Britain, I slow-clap you.
